sábado, marzo 24, 2007
20 Do's & Don'ts of a Functional Relationship - by Eve Bernshaw
1. Who you think you are is important. Like attracts like. Do you like who you are?
2. What you want in a relationship is important, and when you are willing to ask for it, you will be able to create it. But only ask for what you want when you are clear about what it is. Until then, don't go around demanding things you just think you should have.
3. We get exactly what we focus on. The problem or the solution. We make a choice between them with every decision we make.
4. Tell yourself the truth about what you want, not what others (family, friends, spouse) say you should have.
5. Tell everyone else your truth about what you want. Don't be afraid to share your vision and dreams with those you love.
6. You are not defined by your relationships unless you choose to be. Consider what it says about you if you deed over you soul to one.
7. Interdependent (two independent people) relationships are the only ones that work, long term.
8. Truth is the first thing necessary to create trust in our relationships. Respect is earned from trust, and love is earned from respect. Intimacy is the gift we get when we risk telling the truth.
* See the hierarchy of a functional relationship
9. Fear of intimacy is fear of the truth. Your truth is better for you than someone else's. Just get to know what it is, so you can finally own it, and speak it..
10. If your relationship is not getting better, it is probable getting worse. Life is dynamic and nothing ever stays the same.
11. Every relationship is unique. It takes what it takes to work. If you want it to work, you have to work it. No shortcuts. No 50/50 deals.
12. It's not your job to fix your mate, and it's not his or her job to fix you. Take the relationship and what your mate says at face value and stop reading into it what you'd like to hear. We can work with what's real. It's impossible to deal with what's not real.
13. Unconditional love is an inside job. If you haven't gotten it by now, guess what...start working from within. When you can give it to yourself, you'll be ready to give it to someone else. If you can give it to someone else, you'll recognize it when it's given to you.
14. If you both are committed to creating a functional relationship, agree to start doing it today, without any judgments about the past. Be willing to work in the solution and let go of your need to control the outcome, moment to moment, one day at a time. Joy can only be experienced in the present moment
15. Most of our fears about what may happen in this relationship are really fears we experienced in past relationships, and have nothing to do with this person. Come to grips with what's real and what's Memorex! .
16. When in an argument, ask yourself Does this really PASS THE SO WHAT TEST? For you to be right does the other person have to be wrong? Think about it. Life is short. Don't waste it on arguments that have no meaning or purpose. You can always agree to disagree if you need to.
Then laugh about it, and go on to the next thing. Start observing your need to argue as just another dysfunctional, immature habit that needs to be broken.
17. When we finally learn to say we are sorry (at 3 or 93) we get to finally hear we are O.K. To error is human, and there is great virtue in all forgiveness, ourselves included. The best way to teach our children this lesson is by watching us demonstrate it.
18. Any negative, hurtful or sarcastic remark is abusive. Like a sharp knife, each word will carve out a chunk of a loving relationship that can never grow back. Please consider the source and outcome of your remarks, before you open you mouth to tell your truth.
19. Never let a day go by without saying and showing how much your relationship and partner mean to you. Never take a moment for granted. Express how grateful you are for your good fortune, however meek or humble it may be. Appreciation and gratefulness have magic in them. It seems the more we express them, the more reasons we are given to say thank you.
20. To have a functional relationship you have to be willing to risk loosing it everyday, by telling your truth. If you don't feel free to tell your truth, start asking yourself why you think it's so important to stay, and what else you are willing to loose besides your self-esteem.
For starters, you can ask your mate to tell their truth, and be willing to accept it at face value, without judgment. Now you both get to finally know the truth, and, if you each want a relationship based on what's real for both of you.
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HIERARCHY OF A FUNCTIONAL RELATIONSHIP
INTIMACY
LOVE
RESPECT
TRUST
TRUTH
What is a functional relationship?
Without the beginning base of truth in a relationship, trust cannot occur. Without the development of trust, respect will never be born. Without a level of respect for another, a functional relationship of love will not seed and nourish the partners. Intimacy occurs when we become willing to share our whole selves with another in this order. It is the gift we get when we learn to engage in a balanced, loving
and functional relationship.
jueves, marzo 22, 2007
Learning Style:
1. Reflective Learner - strong preference
- Reflective learners prefer to understand the information best by thinking it quietly at first.
- Usual response "Let's think it through first."
- Prefers working alone
2. Sensing Learner - moderate preference
- Sensing learners tend to like learning facts.
- Often like solving problems well-established methods & dislike complications and surprises.
- Tend to be patient with details and good at memorizing facts and doing hands-on (laboratory) work
- Tend to be more practical & careful
- Does not like courses that have no apparent connection to the real world
3. Visual-Verbal Learner - well-balanced
- Visual learners remember best what they see -- pictures, diagrams, flow charts, time lines, films & demonstrations. Verbal learners get more out of words -- written & spoken explanations.
- Everyone learns more when information is presented both visually & verbally
- Good learners are capable of processing information presented either visually or verbally.
4. Sequential Learning - moderate preference
- Sequential learners tend to gain understanding in linear steps, with each step following logically from the previous one.
- Tend to follow logical stepwise paths in finding solutions.
- May not fully understand the material but they can do something with it since the pieces they have absorbed are logically connected
- May know a lot about specific aspects of a subject but may have trouble relating them to different aspects of the same subject or to different subjects.
sábado, marzo 10, 2007
My Eyes Adored You
CHORUS(My eyes adored ya
Though I never laid a hand on you
My eyes adored ya
Like a million miles away from me you couldn't see how I adored ya
So close, so close and yet so far)
Carried your books from school
Playin' "make-believe you're married to me"
You were fifth-grade, I was sixth
When we came to be
Walkin' home every day
over Barnegat Bridge and Bay
Till we grew into the me and you
Went our separate ways
CHORUS
Headed for city lights
Climbed the ladder up to fortune and fame
I worked my fingers to the bone
Made myself a name
Funny I seemed to find
That no matter how the years unwind
Still I reminisce 'bout the girl I miss
And the love I left behind
CHORUS(My eyes adored ya)
All my life I will remember
(Though I never laid a hand on you)
How warm and tender we were way back then, whoa, whoa, baby
(Like a million miles away from me you couldn't see how I adored ya)
Oh, the feeling, sad regrets
(So close, so close and yet so far)
I know I won't ever forget ya, my childhood friend
(My eyes adored ya)
(Though I never laid a hand on you)
(My eyes adored ya)
(Like a million miles away from me you couldn't see how I adored ya)
FADE
So close, so close and yet so far
lunes, marzo 05, 2007
Prinsesa by Teeth
source: 911tabs.com
+Intro: D-D/C#-C-G-; (4x) +
+ +
+D D/C# C G +
+Nakaupo s'ya sa isang madilim na sulok +
+D D?C# C G D +
+Ewan ko ba kung bakit sa libu-libong babaing nandoon +
+ C# +
+Wala pang isang minuto +
+ C G (Intro once) +
+Nahulog na ang loob ko sa 'yo. +
+ +
+D D/C# C +
+Gusto ko sanang marinig ang tinig mo +
+G D D/C# C G +
+Umasa na rin na sana'y mahawakan ko ang palad mo +
+D D/C# +
+Gusto ko sanang lumapit +
+C G D D/C# C-G +
+Kung di lang sa lalaking kayakap mo, ho o-o-oh. +
+ +
+Chorus +
+ +
+A D +
+Dalhin mo ako sa iyong palasyo +
+A D +
+Maglakad tayo sa hardin ng yong kaharian +
+A +
+Wala man akong pag-aari +
+ D A +
+Pangako kong habangbuhay kitang pagsisilbihan +
+G Gm D D/C# C G +
+O aking prinsesa ha-a-ah, prinsesa +
+ D D/C# C G +
+Prinsesa, prinsesa. +
+ +
+Ad lib: D-D/C#-C-G-; (2x) +
+ +
+D D/C# +
+Di ako makatulog +
+ C G D +
+Naisip ko ang ningning ng yong mata +
+ D/C# C G +
+Nasa isip kita buong umaga buong magdamag +
+D C# +
+Sana'y parati kang tanaw +
+ C G D +
+O ang sakit isipin ito'y isang panaginip +
+ D/C# C-G +
+Panaginip lang. +
+ +
+Repeat Chorus +
+ +
+Ad lib: D-D/C#-C-G-; (4x) +
+ +
+Repeat Chorus +
+ +
+ D D/C# C G +
+Prinsesa, prinsesa +
+ D D/C# C G +
+Prinsesa, a-ha-ah... (Fade)