Huwag Mo Ng Itanong
MYMP

INTRO

Hika and inabot ko
Nang piliting sumabay sa ‘yo hanggang kanto
Nang isipan mong parang sweepstakes
Ang hirap manalo

REFRAIN 1
Ngayon, pagdating ko sa bahay
Ibaba ang ‘yong kilay, ayoko ng ingay

CHORUS
Huwag mo nang itanong sa akin
‘Di ko rin naman sasabihin
Huwag mo nang itanong sa akin
At ‘di ko na iisipin

Field trip sa may pagawaan ng lapis
Ay katulad ng buhay natin
Isang mahabang pila
Mabagal at walang katuturan

REFRAIN 2
Ewan ko, hindi ko alam
Puwede bang ‘wag na lang nating pag-usapan

[Repeat CHORUS]

AD LIB

REFRAIN 2
Ewan ko, oh, hindi ko alam
Puwede bang ‘wag na lang nating pag-usapan

[Repeat CHORUS twice]

CODA
Huwag mo na
Huwag mo na
Huwag mo na, ha ha huu huu

---------

If I Keep My Heart Out of Sight
Nikki Gil

If i keep on talking now
I'll only start repeating myself
And all i can say is
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you

If i slip and tip my hand
I'm certain to scare you away
Then what would i say
I'd be hurting i'm certain
I'd be uncool to let you know that you're the one
The fool who jumped the gun

'cause i've been advised by other guys
You've left behind
Your goodbyes are somewhat unrefined
But if i play my role just right
Tonight could be my lucky night
And you could be mine

If i present it to you
With a flower in the moonlight
Shiny and new
Well, you couldn't say no tonight
If i keep my heart out of sight

If i play my role just right
Then tonight could be my lucky night
And you could be mine

If i present it to you
With a flower in the moonlight
Oh, shiny and new
Well, you couldn't say no tonight
If i keep my heart out of sight

====================================

it's official.. pasukan na talaga bukas... ayoko pang pumasok!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -_-


kanina nagulat ako kasi tinawagan ako ni tats... ayun.. nagkamustahan kami.. tapos nagkabalitaan at kung ano ano pa... nag-share din siya sa akin ng tungkol sa lovelife niya.

buti naman may masasabihan siya kesa naman sa sarilinin niya eh di naloka na siya db? Ayun.. nag-promise kasi ako sa kanya na tatawagan ko siya kaso hindi ko natuloy kasi nga wala pa akong call card. bukas talagang bibili ako ng call card pati na rin prepaid kasi pasukan na sa monday (start na ng teaching week). buti may mga off-peak sa kanila at buti nalang mura ang tawag from new zealand kapag tatawag ka sa australia... kaya ayun...

kanina.. mga 6 pm siguro.. umalis kami papunta sa Narre Warren (bahay ng mga kamag-anak namin sa mother side). ako ang pinag-drive mula sa bahay papunta doon. buti nalang naabutan namin si kuya mayo kasi magppractice kami ng driving. Nag-drive ako simula 7 pm hanggang 9 pm.. umulan pa nga eh.. ang dulas ng daanan, pero maingat naman ako sa pag-ddrive. sabi nila mama mga one week pa daw saka ako magpapa-appointment para makakuha ng probationary licence.. goodbye learner's!

tapos pagka-uwi namin sa narre warren.. nag-videoke kami tapos naki-nood na rin ng tfc... para maki-chismis... hehe.. ayun.. bigla naman na out of nowhere umakyat si mama na parang may kausap.. ako naman napatayo kasi akala ko sasabihin niya sa akin na uuwi na kami. si ivan pala yung nasa linya kausap mama ko.. ayun, nag-usap kami ni ivan sandali then naputol na rin yung tawag niya.

natutuwa ako.. actually.. kinikilig kasi he calls me na.. hehe.. hindi tulad noon na talagang ako lahat ang gumagawa ng paraan tapos siya he just sits there.

ayun... nagkwento siya.. sabi rin niya hindi siya makakapag-net ngayon.. nakakalungkot naman.. sana bukas he will kasi miss ko na siya eh. lalo na ngayon at pareho na kaming may skype! hehehe =D





bagong kanta sa akin ni boyfriend... nakakakilig *_* grabe... hihihi... actually it is an old song... basta..

Tunay Na Ligaya

'Di ko pansin ang ang kislap ng bituin
'pag kapiling ka sinta
Kahit liwanag ng buwan sa gabi
'di ko na nasisita.
Iisa lang ang naghaharing tala sa mundo
Tanging ikaw ang liwanag sa buhay ko.

'Di ko pansin ang bango ng hasmin
'pag kapiling ka sinta
Kahit ga-dagat ang dami ng rosas,
hindi matataranta.
Iisa lang ang nagtataglay ng halimuyak
at ikaw nga tanging ikaw sinta.

Ikaw ang tunay na ligaya tanging ikaw sinta.
Umaga hapon kahit magdamag laging ikaw sinta
Hindi magsasawa sa piling mo.

'Di ko pansin ang bawat sandali
'pag kapiling ka sinta.
Bagyo't ulan kidlat o kulog man
'di napapasin sinta.

Iisa lang ang hinihiling kong kasagutan.
Ang ngayon at kailanma'y makapiling ka

Ikaw ang tunay na ligaya tanging ikaw sinta.
Umaga hapon kahit magdamag laging ikaw sinta
Hindi magsasawa sa piling mo.





i haven't had time to post a blog lately... anyway.. i'll type down some updates... what's been happening in my life at the moment... or recently..

here goes:
1. Orientation started last teusday... last monday, Aries, called me up. He's a fourth year student at Melbourne Uni and he is our guide. On that day, I was surprised to see three or my batchmates in Danenong HS (although I was not able to approach them). When I got into Melbourne Uni.. i got my map, I asked people... but guess what? I STILL GOT LOST! -_-
2. When I saw our group, I met a couple of new people.. most especially Christine. She's a filipino as well.. and guess what? she's been here for two years.. same as me.. hehehe... and we are both doing Psychology and Biology... not bad eh? She's also taking English Language which I deleted on my major list hehehe...
3. Yesterday, I went back to Melbourne Uni and went to the Anthropology welcome session... I felt out of place.. guess what? I was the only asian girl -_- how could that be? I actually got bored.. talked to some people then I left.
4. I was late for the psychology lecture but I was still glad I made it. I actually got Lost again -_- I was looking for the Public Lecture theater... omg.. it was really... really.. big.. imagine this ---> bigger than the balcony of Stella Maris' Auditorium... -_- and it was packed with students.. some were even standing.. imagine how many people are doing psychology!
5. I went into the Melbourne Sports Centre.. I was interested in taking kickboxing and pilates.. bad news though since pilates is done every teusday and i'm busy on teusdays so.. i dropped it.. but i'm doing kickboxing every monday hehehehe..
6. My sked is soooooo nice!! i love it! I start at 10 am on m-w-f, 9 am on t and 11 am on th... oh yeah! i finish at 6:15 on t-w-th and the best bit ---> 12 noon on m & f.
7.this weirdo approached me on the train... apparantly, i'm not interested in him at all but he kept on coming back to talk to me.. and felt really weird.. he asked me out but i kept on saying no.. what a freak.. the other guy approached me who looked like a goon (they are not related) and said "that guy's a dick.. he's trying to pick you up!" and i said "yeah, i know! he's an asshole."
8. i didn't go to school today.. not even tomorrow.. hehe.. i feel lazy!
9. my lovelife: blooming =) he called me last teusday and today.. then we had a long conversation last teusday.. it was very romantic and sweet actualyy.. ^_^
10. i've set up this nohari and johari window.. just for fun.. some people have been asking me to asnwer theirs.. so i figured to make mine as well.. feel free and answer!

http://kevan.org/johari?name=kterna and http://kevan.org/nohari?name=kterna





What every woman should have and more
PURPLE SHADES By Letty Jacinto-Lopez
The Philippine STAR 02/19/2006

Counting the number of messages I received last Valentine’s, I saved one that both junior and senior ladies would appreciate. It goes:

Every Woman Should Have
• One old love she can imagine going back to, and one who reminds her how far she has come.

Old love? Mine has already turned into a butterfly, free and fleeting. If a butterfly is the resurrection of a lost love, I would have hundreds to remember.

Of the other kind? He remains my sweet, steady, and comfort love.

• Enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own even if she never wants to or needs to.

For you to be able to do that, you need to maintain a separate account where you can deposit whatever savings and earnings you have. Save enough also so you can afford to buy an air ticket. I urge young brides to take note.

• Something perfect to wear if the date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour.

Invest in clothes with the four Fs: to fit and flatter your face and figure. When he calls, you simply reach into your wardrobe and feel confident that you’d look stunning – a dream come true.

• A youth she’s content to leave behind.

And one you can laugh about with friends who exhibited the same zest and daring. We screamed our throats dry at the live concerts of Ricky Nelson, Paul Anka, Frankie Avalon, and The Beatles. I used to keep an album of personally autographed photos in my brag book. That time was filled with simple pleasures –mababaw ang kaligayahan – yet they lasted longer.

It was a cloudy but cool day, and a group of friends decided to drive around Makati. Suddenly, I heard my friend exclaim, "Oh goodness, my ex-boyfriend’s sister is getting married today. It’s a black-tie, long-gown affair."

I replied, "Hey, lets drop by the church and watch."

"You must be nuts," we said, turning the corner to reach the church. We watched from a side pew guests dressed to the nines who were more busy preening themselves than focusing on the married couple. What a show. What a farce.

We laughed all the way to Leila’s Coffee Shop. At that time there was only The Plaza and the Rizal Theater complex. The food and the soda fountain delights drowned my friend’s bitter woes. She turned to me and said, "How could I be so blind?"

Luckily, she’s a woman. Heartaches and sorrows were no match to her iron will.

• A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra.

There’s a brass-finished hammer that I discovered in a hardware store. If you unscrew the bottom, it would reveal a Philips head (it looks like a rosette), followed by a flat-head screw and a precision screw at the very last turn. It’s such a handy tool that I’ve given lots of it to non-handyman friends. It should be available at hardware stores, like Federal, Ace, True Value, Wilcon or the hardware section of Landmark for about P200 or less.

Match the black bra with black knickers and you’d feel like Satine in Moulin Rouge saying, "Come into my boudoir for one more night of unrestrained passion…."

• One friend who always makes her laugh and one who lets her cry.

If you can find one who can make you laugh and cry, you’re truly blessed.

• A good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family.

I gave away some inherited furniture to my favorite nieces because of lack of space. But I can see how fast one can accumulate more goods and furniture in this lifetime.

• Eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored.

I’m one of those stove- and kitchen-challenged people. Simple but tasty meals always work even with friends who are fantastic cooks. What’s the sure-fire recipe? I add love and laughter and lots of tomatoes and garlic.

• A feeling of control over her destiny.

In a public library in Alexandria, Virginia, I came across this saying: "The more you read, the more you know; the more you know, the more you learn; the more you learn, the louder your voice when speaking your mind or making a choice."

Add prayers for spiritual guidance and remember that you are born with beauty and strength within you.

In tandem,
Every Woman Should Know
• How to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.

Resigning? Before you do, be fully prepared by having money in the bank that could maintain and sustain you for the next three months at least. Better still, make sure you’ve found a new job before quitting the current one.

Calling it quits with a lover can take different approaches. I’d rather be honest.

Disagreeing with true friends should never be hurtful. You’ve been friends long enough to know that you have each other beyond who gets to eat the last slice of the wickedest, creamiest chocolate cake.

• When to walk away.

It was New Year’s Eve. He opened the door to see her setting the table. Candles, champagne, hot roast and salad.

He put down his brief case and approached her, "I want a divorce."

After 28 years of marriage, the only thing he could say was, "I can’t leave her. She’s pregnant with our child."

My friend looked far towards the horizon and said, "Go, and don’t come back."

After two years, she received a call from the new wife: "May we see you?"

My friend had moved on and was content with her life, past the pain, the shock, the disappointment.

When she saw the baby, she smiled. "He looks just like his father."

"I’m pregnant again," said the young wife. "He has to work harder to maintain us."

It was an amusing sight. When men of his age are happily putting their feet up in retirement or actively pursuing their favorite sports and hobby, he has to raise a young brood. Nursery schools, playground games, cartoons, cotton candies, screams and tantrums, pediatric clinics, and education and health insurance have replaced romantic nights and secret rendezvous.

As she closed the door and looked at her neat, cozy and lovely apartment, the doorbell rang again. Harassed and catching his breath, her former husband said, "Oh, your monthly alimony should have been credited to your account."

She smiled, "I know that."

"You too, have a good life, won’t you?"

• That she can’t change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents.

There are many before-and-after makeovers that could correct any inborn flaws. It’s a matter of accentuating your assets and camouflaging your weak spots.

Parents always mean well even if they can be a source of anguish when teaching or showing it. You will, however, marvel at how much of their character and attitude you acquire once you become a parent yourself. Watch as you begin to think, act and look like them. The cycle continues.

• What she would and wouldn’t do for love or more.

The sweetness and the sorrow make her a stronger person.

• Whom she can trust, whom she can’t, and why she shouldn’t take it personally.

There are friends and, then, there are so-called friends. You can distinguish one from the other, and how one could never replace nor match the value and worth of the other.

Do I make sense? Whatever, you would know.

• What she can and can’t accomplish in a day, a month, and a year...

I’m standing in a room full of boxes and crates. There was a time I could clear a room in a day, a full house in a week. Not anymore.

I’m taking my sweet time and know the day could end with not a single box being cleared and it won’t get my goat.

Through the noise and debris, I finished this article and I’m more excited to share it with you.





I had a long and tiring day today...

I slept at 6 in the morning, grabe no? Hindi kasi ako makatulog. Then nag-alarm na yung phone ko ng 9 am.. nag-exted ako for 20 minutes then after that i pushed myself up... kahit sobrang antok na ako.. diretcho ako sa banyo.. naligo tapos nagbihis.. then nakisabay ako kanila mama to drop me off kanila kuya mayo.

Pagdating doon, si ate marie ayaw sumama... pinilit ko.. ayun.. bumangon din at sumama. Sumama nga rin bigla si kuya jojo eh. Oh db.. outing naming magpipinsan.. siyempre ako yung pinakabata ^_^ hihihi... bali.. ako, si ate marie, si ate heidi, kuya mayo at kuya jojo.. buti nalang hindi kami mag-ttrain at dadalhin ang car ni kuya jojo. Kaya hindi ako kinabahan na baka ma-late ako.

Pagdating sa city, nag-park kami sa Crown dahil alam namin na mahirap maghanap ng parking sa city at mahal din ang parking fee. Paglabas namin sa hotel nilakad namin mula doon hanggang sa Flinders Street.. May appointment ako ng 1 pm sa Telestra Dome malapit sa Spencer Street. Nag-train kami from flinders street papunta sa spencer street station (now known as Southern Cross.. kaya pala kami naligaw -_-) actually, bago pa kami makadating sa flinders street... naligaw na kami.. but it gave me an info na me an info na meron doong classes for pilates, kick boxing and arnis.. nice db?

Ayun.. nasa southern cross station na kami... then sabi nila may aakyatan kaming escalator tapos lalakarin nalang from there papuntang telestra dome. I saw the resto kung saan ako nag-apply.. katapat lang niya ang telestra dome at ginagawa pa yung resto... so that would mean madami silang hinahanap na workers. Pagdating ko doon may nag-iinterview na pero hindi ko naman sigurado kung sila nga yun.. kasi sa kabilang side.. andaming applicants na naka-helera... nagtanong ako sa una kong nakita.. yun na pala yun. Ayun... binigay ko yung cover letter ko at resume' tapos i told him a brief background about myself... na uni student ako, member ng isang non-profit org, etc... ayun.. tinanong niya kung kailan ako available tapos kung nasaan yung contact numbers ko at ang email ko. hindi man lang niya tinignan yung resume' ko mismo at yung cover letter lang ang pinag-susulat niya. Ang bilis... mukhang hindi ako matatanggap.. haay...

anyway.. after nun, nagutom na sila.. sumakay kami ng tram papunta ng Crown at doon kami kumain sa isang chinese bar. after nun, nag-decide sila mag-casino.. oh ha! pwede na kaya akong pumasok hehehe.. 18 na ako!!! kada pasok ko.. tanong sila ng tanong ng id ko.. bwiset.. hindi na nga ako nagpapahalata eh.. mukha ba akong hindi 18? anyway.. hindi naman ako gambler eh.. sinubukan ko yung pokies pero dahil sa igorante ako.. natalo ako.. (hindi ko naman pera) tapos na-bore kami ni ate heidi.. nakaupo lang kami nanonood ng big screen at nagkkwentuhan. 5 pm saka sila nag-isip na umalis na sa casino.. iba talaga mga sugarol. Halos isang oras rin kami doon ah.. pagkatapos nun, tumaya pa sila sa lotto.. hahaha..

Si ate marie.. ayaw pa niyang umuwi kaya naman nang-aya siya manood ng sine. Napagisipan nila na sa narre warren nalang manood kasi masmalapit pa sa bahay.. then nag-suggest sila na sa dandenong nalang dahil mas-mura. Pagdating sa dandenong... 9 pm pa yung susunod na pelikula.. sobrang late na yun.. pagkatapos nun.. lumipat nalang kami sa dandenong... 9 pm din.. ayaw pa nilang umuwi.. tinanong nila kung anong magandang gawin.. sabi ko.. may bowling malapit sa amin.. ayun nag-bowling nalang kami..

Ang total score ko sa game one ay 103 tapos sa game two ay 108... bali 211 ang total score ko.. ewan ko na lang sa iba.. sa una, third place ako, sa pangalawa naman.. second place. Naka-ilang spare at strike din ako in fairness.. akala ko puro gutter na dahil matagal na rin akong hindi nakakapaglaro ng bowling. May gutter ball din ako.. more than 4 ata eh.. meron pa nga yung dalawa kong tira puro gutter ball.. buti nalang naka-habol ako kasi kasunod ng spare ko sunod-sunod na strike. ayos!

Pagkatapos nun.. hinatid na nila ako pauwi. Bukas.. magpa-practice akong mag-drive kasama si kuya mayo.. may 20 hours and 30 minutes na ako... bali.. 99 hours and 30 minutes pa ang kailangan ko.. kelan kaya ako ready mag-take ng probationary licence test?


Haay.. i got in trouble with my posts here. Getting a blog is parang my way of feeling
lonely dito... everyday kasi i'm alone, wala pa akong pasok. Sila Annie nasa Pilipinas pa.. si Dianne naman may pasok na. With this blog I can type... kumbaga, para ngang diary although.. blogs are made to be published thru net.

Wala kasi akong makausap, wala akong makasama, wala akong kakwentuhan, wala akong magawa, basta wala.. nakaka-bobo nga kapag mag-isa tapos walang ginagawa kundi hintayin ang pasukan.

Good thing pasukan na next week... I really can't wait. I'm not that excited na I'm finally starting college but relieved na finally i'm over highschool and also finally, i'm going to be pre-occupied with school work again. I can't wait to have things going through my mind... to be busy again. I want to join up to many clubs & societies in school, be more active on CPCA (Centre for Philippines Concerns Australia), attending a part-time job (which until now, i still don't have one -_-), studying & aiming for top marks and my recent discovery... joining up for a short course sa melbourne uni. I saw na they offer heaps of short courses... Mukhang interesting ang kick boxing.. self-defence din siya.. not just that but also Pilates.

Kanina I had a mail from Melbourne Uni, it was from the School of Behavioural Sciences. Kasi di ba i'm taking psychology... it was about the subject, books i needed, timetable and the psychology society. Grabe... as of the moment.. I already have 3 societies... kasi i'm enrolled in Bachelor of Arts & Sciences. So Automatic, I'm a member of the Arts society (M-ASS) and the Science society... i didn't know pati pala sa psychology may sariling society.. sabagay.. it's a different faculty. Hindi kasi siya recognized as a course but as a major. Tapos... I'm also planning to join up for the Filipino Club (?!?) sa melbourne uni.. siyempre.. I'm filo. I might as well join up and meet filo peeps there.

Speaking of meeting peeps... wala pa akong kilalang ka-batch ko from Dandenong High who got accepted sa Melbourne uni.. malamang naman meron.. matatalino naman silang lahat eh.. And biggest assumption ko is sa Physics class ko.. some will be at Monash (taking Radiology - gusto kong course -_- or Engineering), Royal Melbourne Institute of Technology (either taking Radiology, Engineering or Aerospace & Pilotry) or Melbourne Uni din.. (taking up Architecture or Engineering).. madaling i-predict ang mga napuntahan ng mga kaklase ko sa physics kasi... it's a requirement on those courses na i mentioned earlier and those were most of the schools na they listed.

All I know is...
this guy si Alvin who gave me these ---> is going to sydney.
oh well.. have fun there! enjoy sydney!


Ever since I heard this song from the Ellen show... na-inlove na ako sa kantang ito... "Save The Last Dance For Me" by Michael Buble'. I get this imagination na someone will sing this song for me o kaya naman we're both dancing sa kantang yun... it's a lively song na gustong gusto ko talaga... I recommend that you download this song.. you'll love it as much as I did.

"Save The Last Dance For Me"

You can dance-every dance with the guy
Who gives you the eye,let him hold you tight
You can smile-every smile for the man
Who held your hand neath the pale moon light
But don't forget who's takin' you home
And in whose arms you're gonna be
So darlin' save the last dance for me

Oh I know that the music's fine
Like sparklin' wine,go and have your fun
Laugh and sing,but while we're apart
Don't give your heart to anyone
But don't forget who's takin' you home
And in whose arms you're gonna be
So darlin' save the last dance for me

Baby don't you know I love you so
Can't you feel it when we touch
I will never never let you go
I love you oh so much

You can dance,go and carry on
Till the night is gone
And it's time to go
If he asks if you're all alone
Can he walk you home,you must tell him no
'Cause don't forget who's taking you home
And in whose arms you're gonna be
So darling,save the last dance for me

'Cause don't forget who's taking you home
And in whose arms you're gonna be
So darling,save the last dance for me
Save the last dance for me
Save the last dance for me.





Today, nakatanggap ako ng letter... I was expecting it to come from Melbourne Uni.. since that's the only company that usually sends me letters or notices. Nagulat kaya ako na it was from the Victorian School of Languages...

So.. ako naman, I was so curious.. why would they send me a mail? Akala ko kaya it was about my grades or something... and then nagulat ako.. it contained 3 pieces of paper.. nakita ko yung isa.. aba.. map ng school ko.. (melbourne uni) tapos yung isa naman about the parking areas in Melbourne Uni.. Eh di lalo akong na-weirdohan di ba?

I saw the third paper, it was an invitation about me being a VSL 2005 Top Scorer for Filipino. Invitation sa isang dinner party with the other students who also got the top marks on other languages. Curious naman ako, I called my teacher asking if she got an invitation and if there are other Filipino students who got invited. Well, well... ako lang pala yung naging top scorer for Filipino. Nice ano? Wala lang hehehe..

Miss ko na siya... pero wala nanaman siya.. it's been 6 days.. kailan kaya siya magkakaron ng time ulit? Naiisip ko nanaman siya... -_-


Right now... yung pakiramdam ko is half-half...

ewan ko lang ah.. certainly.. I do feel happy! Pano naman kasi, Nando's (a restaurant) emailed me and said na I can have an interview this Saturday. Oh db goodnews siya?

All day long, neutral lang ang araw na ito. Parang ordinary day... naging extra-ordinary lang kasi Valentine's... but as for me.. hindi ko feel yung Valentine's spirit hahaha... Kasi days before dumating ang Feb.14... well, inisip ko na wag ng mag-expect.. give up on him. Meaning, hindi naman siya yung romantic na guy eh. Pati sa tagal ba naman namin, hindi na ako natuto? Ofcourse, this time ayaw ko na mag-expect lalo na sa mga special occasions. Kung may gagawin siya, fine. Kung wala.. well, fine din! ^_^ Yung expectation ko hindi na mataas, hindi rin naman mababa.. actually, wala na nga akong expectation eh. Dati kasi expect ako ng expect na.. huwaw valentine's o kaya ibang special occasion eh palagi lang akong nauuwing barado sa kanya.

Ever since that incident nung Feb.1... I've decided.. not to hold on too tight to this relationship. Things change... the more I hold on to it.. the more I get hurt. I don't want to expect things anymore. The 'excitement' that I've had when I was in Phils were not disregarded but those things were in the past and we're back to long-distance. I felt that as much as I wanted to, he won't give me things I would expect him to do. Like, giving me time & attention, being romantic, initiating the first move, leading this relationship and things like that. I have set those aside.
I'm thinking na... he's pushing himself to keep this relationship going... to keep the fire burning.. I appreciate that. Little by little, he's becoming a 'boyfriend'. Ofcourse, hindi naman yun isang tulugan di ba? But.. tulad na nga ng sinabi ko sa kanya.. or even he knows it.. I don't trust him anymore. Wala na... and I know that trust is a big thing for relationships lalo na long-distance. But, I just don't.. I nearly did... he blew it.. He blew it twice and I don't want to give it a shot once more. Masakit lang, ako lang ang uuwing umiiyak.

I know, I know... hindi naman siya insensitive... ewan ko lang. Nawalan na ako ng kilig.. puro appreciation lang sa lahat ng effort na ginagawa niya. I am trying to hinder myself from falling in love with the guy with too many expectations, too many cares & too many thoughts. I do care.. but I'm trying to limit them. I may sound numb... pero you can't imagine what we've been through... we've been through circles.. yung road na paikot-ikot.. you deal with the same issues.. not knowing where to find a better road to escape.

He called me awhile ago to greet me a Valentine's Day... to be honest.. hindi ko siya kayang batiin pabalik.. I would be lying to myself.. magmumukha akong impokrita sa kanya. If I tell him Happy Valentine's Day.. just for the sake of the occasion, it's plastic.. it's crap... it's rubbish. Though I know, he's been waiting for me to tell it to him.. I just couldn't.. parang ang tigas ng labi ko all of a sudden. I don't know what's wrong... Could it be? Dahil ba sa wala akong tiwala sa kanya, I'm falling out of love again? How could that be, when I miss him? Sinabi ko sa kanya..'na-miss kita'.. haay.. is there something wrong with me?

Valentine's grabe... I don't mind not having a special celebration for this day or getting a surprise or present or anything... Para nga siyang ordinary day.. I woke up, ate, watched TV, internet, cleaned the house, wash dishes, took a bath, etc.. Good thing I was inside the house for the whole day.. Kaya siguro I didn't feel the 'vibe' of Mr. Cupid. Kung lumabas ako ngayong araw.. Valentine's will be miserable.. lang akong malulungkot or ma-aapektuhan sa mga makikita ko..

ang message ko para sa mga nagdate ngayon??? "MAG-BBREAK DIN KAYO!!!!!" Hahahahahaha!!!! I'm so mean..

Anyway.. while typing this blog.. my conscience bothered me.. maybe I should somehow let him know that I love him.. and that this day is special for us. Haaaay.. sige na nga.. I'll call back. -_- nakokonsensiya ako.. next time something like this will happen.. I won't blog muna!!!!!!!!!!!





I Am Love

“Some say I can fly on the wind, yet I haven’t any wings. Some have found me floating on the open sea, yet I cannot swim. Some have felt my warmth on cold nights, yet I have no flame. And though you cannot see me, I lay between two lovers at the hearth of fireplaces.

I am the twinkle in your child’s eyes. I am hidden in the lines of your mother's face. I am your father's shield as he guards your home.

And yet… Some say I am stronger than steel, yet I am as fragile as a tear. Some have never searched for me, yet I am around them always. Some say I die with loss, yet I am endless. And though you cannot hear me, I dance on the laughter of children. I am woven into the whispers of passion. I am in the blessings of Grandmothers. I embrace the cries of newborn babies.

And yet… Some say I am a flower, yet I am also the seed. Some have little faith in me, yet I will always believe in them. Some say I cannot cure the ill, yet I nourish the soul. And though you cannot touch me, I am the gentle hand of the kind. I am the fingertips that caress your cheek at night. I am the hug of a child.
I am love.”





ok.... what's the latest? andami ng nangyari sa akin...

work ---> wala pa rin akong trabaho.. when i get to finalize my sked on semester 1, SANA SANA!!! may trabaho na ako...

driving --> i'm improving actually.. today nag-practice kami sa parking.. i'll learn on it. I can now change lanes without any problems ^_^ my parents still won't let me drive on certain days.

school --> i was thinking of taking a pre-optometry course in uni.. i'm just expanding my chances. It's either Psychology or Optometry.. which is which? we'll see.. Sana i'll get good grades.

friends --> someone had just told me that she was used by her ex boyfriend. grabe no? and she's still having a hard time moving on. I hope she will. It's for her sake.

bf ---> he told me someone got someone pregnant.. shocking talaga...
---> antagal naman niya sa ym oh!!! ASAR!





I'm currently experiencing.. LSS.. pero.. I love this song really.. I guess that was during the 2nd February 2006. I was watching 7th Heaven on Channel 10... Their topic was about adoption. Na-touch ako. Helping children find a home. Giving love and hope to these kids. And the song they used was You Changed My Life... I just fell in love with the song. I love it. Whenever I listen to the song, it reminds me of the adopted children feeling love again, being a part of the family... feeling and finding a home. People they can call "Mom" and "Dad".

-------------------------------------
You Changed My Life - Janie Fricke
the nights the sky was filled with clouds
my worried mind is filled with fear
i couldn't count all the lonely hours
spent with memories and tears

i never thought i would see the day
when i could throw all my sorrows away
but then you came and you showed me the way
you have made all those times disappear

YOU CHANGED MY LIFE IN A MOMENT
AND I'LL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN
YOU CHANGED MY LIFE IN A MOMENT
AND IT'S HARD FOR ME TO UNDERSTAND
WITH THE TOUCH OF YOUR HAND
IN A MOMENT OF TIME
ALL MY SORROW IS GONE

i never thought that i could change
could change so much in so many ways
i'm still surprised when i look in my mirror
to see that i still look the same
-------------------

Anyway, enough about that... kamusta na kaya si Katrina? well well.. I'm fine naman (As if may magbabasa ng post ko no?). Grabe, I slept at 2 am... 12 am na kasi natapos yung movie (Pearl Harbor) then nag-online ako. I woke up at 2 pm hehe.. Ayun, malaki atraso ko kay Lord... hindi ako nakapagsimba sa araw na ito.

Pagkatapos nun, binalikan ako ni Bryan, pupunta kami sa kabilang bahay then we sang all day long (Videoke). Mahigpit yung videoke na yun.. i got the highest 92.. pero over all mahigpit.. Ayos lang.. atleast hindi siya nag-che-cheat diba? SIyempre ang finale' kong kanta was yung latest favorite ko --> You Changed My Life. Oh db?

Ano pa ba? Ayun... Eto mga progress sa paghahanap ko ng trabaho:
> may nag-email sa akin regarding sa isang work na in-applyan ko. Sana I can get in, mag-iinterview sila by the end of this month... I hope I can get in. They will be needing three referees... naku po.. saan kaya ako kukuha ng isa? Buti nalang naisip ko kaagad si Tita Dhel ^_^. Yung nag-email naman sa akin was about sa Housekeeping. Sa totoo lang kahit nakakapagod, I will choose yung Housekeeping.. kasi hindi siya boring.. I mean, you have to do this.. you do that.. yung ganun.. Yung iba naman you have to interact.. nakakabanas ang mga ganun lalo na dealing with different people.. mga tao pa naman dito ang hirap kunin ang timpla.
>Ngayon, I saw three job posting sa newspaper. Halos lahat related sa Food Handling.. yung isa sa La Porchetta (isang italian restaurant) then meron sa isa Cafe Bar and then meron sa Baker's Delight.
>I'm also interested sa dalawang job vacancy na nakita ko.. yung isa is to work as Food Assistant.. actually training yun.. pero maganda rin.. kasi it's for 12 months (mahaba na rin yun db?) at they provide allowance aside from your salary. Kaso ngalang hindi ko alam kung applicable din iyon sa isang full time student katulad ko pero I really want that job that bad.. Why? Kasi I'll be working in different hospitals. I really.. REALLY.. want to work in a hospital environment.. kasi you don't get bored. When I say you don't get bored.. yung you keep on standing, walking.. yung sa iba.. pang-bum.. naka-upo.. nagttype.. sumasagot ng telepono.. gets? Tumawag na ako, I'm just waiting for a return call.
> The other one I REALLY LIKE to get in.. is a Casual position sa isang Commercial Dry Cleaning company... kasi I have work experience na doon. Kaso ngalang isang araw lang akong nag-trabaho, taga-tupi lang ako nun ng bagong laba at taga-iron. That was fun actually. Last year nga lang iyon eh. Sana they will consider my application db?

Haay.. kailan kaya ako makakahanap ng trabaho? Nakakahanap naman ako pero.. Kailan kaya ako mabibigyan ng trabaho? This coming school year.. I don't want to just focus on my studies. Sabi nga ng isang advisor sa welcome speech niya sa Melbourne university.. iba yung academic skills sa working skills. That's why may mga students dito na as young as 16 nagttrabaho na. Not just they need money.. pero to build up their resume as they grow old. Ika nga.. mashinahanap ng mga job seekers ang may experience. Kumaba.. 'subok na' yung ability nila sa working environment.

Aside from that, madami kasi akong arte sa buhay.. ayoko ng humihingi ng pera sa parents ko lalo na sa mga bagay na gusto ko lang at hindi naman kailangan tulad ng damit, prepaid, etc. Atleast I can help lessen their expenses db? Also, If they allow me, I'll pay for the monthly payment ng broadband net connection namin. Not bad db?

HAY.... MISS NA KITA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ayoko ng ganito.. yung nagkakalabuan tayo... nakaka-paranoid!!!!





Smile
Tamia


Sometimes I sit at home and wonder how it'd be
If he had loved me
Truly loved me yes
I learned a while ago that kind of thing
Never happens for me
And so I go around
And just pretend
Loving life for me
I play the circus clown around my friends
Make them laugh and they won't see
That you never let them see you sweat
Don’t want them to think the pain runs deep
Lord knows it's killing me

So I put on my make-up
Put a smile on my face
And if anyone asks me
Everything is okay
I’m laughing cause no one
Knows the joke is on me
Cause I’m dying inside
With my pride and a smile
On my face
On my face

Sing it la la la la

Sometimes I sit at home
By the phone hoping he might call me
But he don't call me
But then I realize
Dreams come true aren't for girls like me
Not like me
And so I go around with my head up
Like it ain't no thing
And when the boys around with all my friends
I’m into other things
Because you never let them see you sweat
Don’t want them to think the pain runs deep
Lord knows it's killing me

So I put on my make-up
Put a smile on my face
And if anyone asks me
Everything is okay
I’m laughing cause no one
Knows the joke is on me
Cause I’m dying inside
With my pride and a smile
On my face
On my face

It’s not an easy (thing)
Sometimes it’s hard to (face the truth)
It’s not the life that I would choose (that I would choose)
But what else can I do?
If he don’t love me
If he don’t want me
I’m not about to sit around
Let myself go

So I put on my make-up
Put a smile on my face
And if anyone asks me
Everything is okay
I’m laughing cause no one
Knows the joke is on me
Cause I’m dying inside
With my pride and a smile
On my face
On my face

Sing it la la la la





nag-drive ako ngayon
naghanap ako ng trabaho ngayon
nag-internet ako ngayon
natulog ako ngayon
kumain ako ngayon
nag-toothbrush ako ngayon
nagluto ako ngayon
umiyak ako ngayon
naligo ako ngayon
matutulog ulit ako ngayon...

..nakakatamlay ang araw ko -_-





I felt.. I felt so hurt today... =(

I felt unappreciated..
I felt neglected...
I felt loneliness creeping out inside of me...
I felt unloved...

Why? Why? Bakit ka ganito?

Ayoko na.. sawa na ako..
Ayoko ng umasa..
Ayoko ng maghintay..
Ayoko ng magpasensya..
Ayoko ng magparaya..
Ayoko ng magpatawad..
Ayoko ng mahalin ka..
Ayako na sa iyo..

Palagi nalang akong nagbibigay..
Palagi nalang akong nagtitimpi..
Palagi nalang akong nagiipon ng sama ng loob..
Palagi nalang akong nasasaktan..
Palagi nalang akong umiiyak..


Kelan ka magbabago?
Hindi ko naman pinipilit na baguhin ka..
Nakakainis lang talaga.. paulit-ulit lang..
Paikot-ikot...

Mukha akong tanga..
Akala ko tapos na yun...
Hindi ko na alam...
Hindi na ako aasa..
Wala na akong tiwala..

"Lagi nalang umuulan.. parang walang katapusan.. Tulad ng paghihirap ko ngayon, parang walang humpay...





wala lang.. ansama ng ending ng gabing ito.. Feb.1 lang kasi ngayon eh... wala lang >_>